I know I am very lucky to have 4 wonderful, if occasionally annoying and loud sons. Having gone through five years of struggle to have my eldest, I feel genuinely blessed that I have my own family. Three of the boys are officially adults now and even my 'baby' is 12 years old. Over the years Mother's Day may have changed from the hand made cards done at school, but it is still a lovely day to spend with the family.
I have never cared or wanted any gifts or to be part of the commercial element of Mother's Day. A cup of tea and an extra hug will more than enough to keep me happy. I would hope that appreciation for the 24/7 job we all do would be shown more than once a year, but I do enjoy the fact it means everyone makes the effort to be together for a nice lunch or supper that I don't have to make!
There is however a flip side to the day when, like many others, I think abut my own Mum who I lost over 30 years ago. Family was everything to her and she would have loved the noise, bad jokes and laughter. In some ways time does heal, but days such as these bring the loss back to the forefront of my mind. She never met my husband or knew the boys. She missed out on their births, their BarMitzvah's, 18th's and the twins' 21st birthday. Her knowledge and perspective always helped me and I hope that I pass on some balance to my own children.
This year is the first year my grandmother won't be here for Mother's Day. Why would that impact me, you ask? A generation further back she had some strong, if sometimes old fashioned views. However she gave me the same unconditional love as my Mum, and though she never tried to replace her, she was a constant and powerful presence in my life. I am aware that there is a Grandparent's Day, but that somehow always felt too far removed.
So this Mother's Day when I have my sneaky glass of wine I will toast the ladies who helped me become the woman I am today, and thank the powers that be that I am lucky to enjoy this time with my boys. Life can be difficult and complicated, but love never should be. So I'd like to send lots of love to all those trying to become a Mum, those who have lost their Mother this year and those who are fortunate enough to be a Mum.
