Parents Evening

Last night I had the daunting prospect of seeing 14 different teachers at parents evening.  Naturally my twins do not share any of the same teachers and so this is always a very long evening.  My husband was trying to get to school to help but rather unusually an accident on the M25 had delayed him.

For those of you without children in secondary school the process is not as easy or relaxed as when they are at primary.  When the boys were younger I would see the teacher and would be told how they were getting on with English, maths and possibly science.  If I pushed I sometimes managed to get some information on history, geography and any other subjects they were doing.  After the 45 minutes wait (as they always run late) it was usually pretty relaxed.  I had read the boys' books and seen their work before I went in and it felt quite small and communal as I chatted to other parents whilst waiting for my turn.

For secondary school forget everything you knew.  You walk into the school hall where there are rows and rows of desks.  Each has a teacher sitting with a name plate in front of them. It is noisy and stuffy, and all you want to do is walk straight back out, but as the boys are in year 10 (which is first year of GCSE) this was not an option. 

The boys had made appointments to see teachers from all their subjects which I was pleased about, but I could feel the stress levels starting to rise as soon as we got there as some meetings were double booked.  It felt like we were running late before we had even started.  I spent the whole evening apologising as we missed nearly every time slot.  On the plus side though, when a teacher had finished with a student he or she would look at their list and as we were so late we were always the next one to be seen, so we did queue jump a lot. I apologise to any parents who had already been waiting for 15 minutes thinking they were next in line.

Having finally sat down in front of someone you have to wait whilst they consult their sheets of paper. I have spent the last three years totally confused whilst I have been told they are a level 6A or 7B as I never understand what that means.  Why should you be at a higher level in maths than geography and why is it harder to get a decent level in history?  Anyway this is now behind us as we are talking predicted grades.  This I understand, or so I thought.  Although the grades are A* to C because there are so many elements it is hard to judge exactly where they are, however I won't talk details now as this is another issue on it's own.  Suffice it to say that at every teacher I had my son's name, the subject and written details of what the main points were as I knew that by the end of the evening my brain would not have remembered half of what had been said.

I always find interesting when the teacher asks the boys how they think they are doing or what they think will be said about them.  Amazingly they are always far more honest than when they are talking to me! It is also good to see those teachers that they do not regard quite so highly to see if their comments are justified and to be fair they usually are.

We did all manage to see everyone and two hours later we were finished.  I cannot lie and say everything was exactly as I had hoped but at least I am aware of how everything stands and what areas need to be worked on.  I have now seen everyone and the boys have nothing to hide behind when we discuss work as we both heard what the teacher had to say.  They now have to act on it and I can relax a little knowing I have another year before I have to do it all again.

The Fight For The TV Remote

People will probably wonder why I am even writing about this as the only female in a household of six, but for those who are fortunate not to have the same problems in their home I wanted to air the difficulties that are suffered when different members of the family want to watch TV.  Whilst we are fortunate to have Sky and to also have more than one television in our home this does not help with the scheduling and watching dilemmas which seem to occur relentlessly and regularly!

When Duvet Boy is awake he likes to watch football.  No-one has a problem when it is his team on the television but he does not understand why no-one else is interested in the different divisions, Spanish football, Champions League with no British interest, a re-run of all of the 1999/2000 season or a programme on the worst red card tackles in the world ever.  As my youngest was not even born during the 1999/2000 season I do think he has a valid point!

My other teenager likes comedies and is happy to watch the same programme continuously.  The Simpsons may have been going for twenty years but I am sure that by now he has seen nearly every episode and he is currently working his way through Two and a Half Men.  

The oldest two also give us a different dilemma which is based on what programmes are suitable for them.  Back in the good old days when there was no internet or You Tube, if a programme was deemed unsuitable then children were not allowed to watch it and that was the end.  Now it is not so easy.  Programmes can be seen on-line and even if you stop them at home it is impossible to stop them viewing if they are at someone else's house. We decided (rightly or wrongly) that it would be better to watch with them so now my husband sees The Inbetweeners and I think he is getting as much of an education as my boys!

Of course my middle one is literally stuck in the middle.  He cannot watch the older and more adult themed programmes but does not want to watch the same as the youngest.  If the TV is on late afternoon then usually the youngest will choose as his time is limited before bed. Quite often the middle one does not get time later as it will be too close to his bedtime and not long enough for a programme that he wants, so he does, quite rightly get miffed.  As yet I have not found a solution to this. so any suggestions will be greatly received.

As for me, well I am just glad we have Sky Planner.  Anything and everything I want to see is recorded.  This is done as I know I will never be able to sit down and watch anything when it it actually live on the TV, and even if I could, I guarantee that there would be at least half a dozen interruptions.  A one hour show always needs at least an hour and twenty minutes and that is with me fast forwarding during the ad breaks.  I am sure they know it is my time to hold the remote so it is at this point there are queries on homework, school uniform, Food Tech ingredients which are suddenly needed the following morning, or social arrangements, staying after school for sports and anything else that may suddenly spring into their minds.  I can't even wait until they have all gone to bed to watch in peace as they now go to bed as late as me.

To make things a little bit better for everyone we have managed to find a few programmes which everyone will watch together.  Dr Who, Top Gear and Outnumbered are acceptable and I know this evening will be fine as we are all big fans of Hustle.  The only argument now is how loud we need the volume to be......

Half Term

There is no question that the best thing about half term is the fact that there is no alarm clock in the morning, no groaning as the radio comes on at 6.30 and for a week, I don't have to drag myself out of bed.  Instead I can listen to my other half getting up whilst I snuggle back down under the duvet and go back to sleep.  Even my youngest has now been trained.  Although I hear him getting up, he no longer comes in to tell me he is getting up, going to the toilet, about to read a book, or going downstairs.  He just does it - perfect!  

Of course once I venture from the safety of my bedroom I realise why I was in no rush to get up as there is not a minute of the day to call my own.  The boys are all very good but each has their own agenda.  I still sort out the play dates for my youngest and need to ensure that he has a few arrangements during the week to keep him happy.  At the other end of the scale Duvet Boy does not appear until the end of the morning.  He is happy to chill at home and will make some plans, but nothing that is too taxing.  His twin still knows what a morning is and is probably more sociable but they are both so disorganised.  I don't understand why every arrangement is only planned the night before, or the morning they are seeing their friends.  This would be fine if they didn't need dropping off or collecting from somewhere miles away just as I am making lunch or trying to put the youngest to bed!  My middle one probably finds it the hardest during the holidays, because he is not as independent as the oldest but is too big for me to make plans for him.  He loves his mobile but is not quite as physically attached to it as his brothers and not quite as practised at using it to organise his life. 

Half term is lovely as a week is the right amount of time to recharge the batteries without anyone getting bored.  The cinemas are very kind and ensure there are loads of films which are out just in time for the holidays, and occasionally we find something that everyone wants to see.  This week it has to be The Muppets, and even I am looking forward to this one.  There have been a few corkers over the years and it has been known for me to fall asleep on more than one occasion but I am feeling hopeful about this one.

Intermingled with the boys' social life there is normally at least one appointment for dentist, optician or orthodontist, to ensure check ups don't mean time missed from school.  This week we are quite fortunate and only have a mass trip to the barber.  Obviously the older children are very specific about who cuts their hair as they want a certain look, and we need to ensure the appointment isn't too early for Duvet Boy, but we have managed to fit this in.

The other thing which always amazes me during the holidays is the amount of food they get through.   I will cook one 'proper' meal but the second is a freezer or easy meal.  It is very rare for anyone to have a sandwich for a light lunch.  This is saved for the snack mid way through the evening and isn't deemed big enough for a meal. I understand that I have two teenagers and one nearly teenager who are all growing, but how can they be so skinny when they eat so much?  I want to be on whatever diet they are on, eat as much as you can and a lot of it rubbish and never put on an ounce!

But I cannot chat any more, youngest has a friend here and they need lunch, but before that happens another has to be dropped off at the station.  Duvet Boy is up and needs feeding as well and middle one isn't feeling too good.  I need to remember to take one friend home and make sure I am organised with supper so that I can be out in time for football training later.  Not sure what time eldest and his friend are coming back from the cinema and hoping he will be sleeping tonight as he is seeing The Woman In Black', but it will be fine and at the end of it husband will cook me a romantic Valentine's meal which hopefully will just be for the two of us, but in reality could be catering for up to six - I really do love half term.

The Different Stages Of Teething

This morning my youngest came into my bedroom really excited that he had something important to tell me, and once I had managed to open my eyes and reach a relative conscious state of being I could see that his finger was stuck in his mouth and he was proudly showing me his first wobbly tooth. By the time we got down to breakfast there was pain, he couldn't eat on one side of his mouth, and he was worried that the tooth would fall out in school and be lost, meaning no money from the tooth fairy. However as the movement was so minimal there was no chance of this happening for at leat 2 or 3 weeks so i was able to reassure him.

This is his second stage of 'teething'. I can clearly remember the first stage which started from around 6 months. There were red, rosy cheeks and again lots of fingers and fists stuffed into mouth. There had been a vast quantity of teething gel bought, and everytime there was a bad night, an unexplained temperature, a disgusting nappy or any grumpiness it was put down to teething. Whether or not this was actually the real reason will never be known but it made me feel better as a parent to have an answer for all ailments. Weeks of symptons would pass before the first tooth was spotted and it seemed forever before all 20 teeth had appeared.

Fast forward a few years and after all that effort, my son wants to lose those teeth! Now there are 20 to come out and even more to replace them! This will undoubtedly lead on to stage three where my eldest is currently suffering. A couple of years ago the dentist recommended him seeing an orthodontist as he had a few concerns and it transpired that two of his top teeth were growing sideways rather than down. As this can be genetic his brother was x-rayed and they both had the same problem. Each of them needed their milk teeth removed to allow the adult teeth to grow properly and they both continued to see the orthodntist until the day he said one was fine and didn't need any work. Five minutes later the second was told he would be starting treatment that afternoon/. Naturally this did not go down well. Over the past 18 months he has full braces fitted to top and then bottom teeth, regular six week check ups to have the wires tightened and now elastics to align the teeth. These are changed daily to ensure they are tight and my son believes also to keep the pain levels to a maximum!

So I go back to my youngest who I am convinced will also be needing orthodontic work, but thankfully not for a few years.  I do however worry that by the time I am finished with him I will be at an age when I have moved onto stage four myself, the losing and removing of all my teeth!  On the plus side, at least with dentures there will be no more fillings!

Obsessive Weather Disorder

Today my life went back to normal after a few days of hype, a bit of panic and a general sense of "Why do we always get it so wrong?"  I am sure that you will have guessed that I am talking about the recent snowfall.  I can only go by my own experiences and as a softie Southerner I know these are nothing compared to those living further North, however this feels like the perfect opportunity to talk about the British weather, and specifically the snow.

People have very different views about it.  Children of any age seem to love it with the beautiful, crisp, white, clean blanket they can attack with snowball fights, or use to build snowmen or sled on, but we adults have more of a love/hate relationship.

Whilst it looks very pretty, however much notice is given the country NEVER seems prepared.  Gritters were out at midnight on Saturday night but the snow began falling at 6pm, and with the weather forecasters talking about it for at least a week before why didn't they get their act together sooner?

 Facebook was inundated with pictures of snowy gardens, which were pretty but why are they more special than a beautiful summer's day?  No-one ever puts up a picture to show the trees have blossom on them as spring begins, so why do we need to look at the snow when it makes every garden look the same?

As it got to the end of Sunday there was much excitement in my house as discussions began on whether there would be school the following day.  Needless to say my thoughts were not the same as those of my boys!  As it becomes colder at night any snow on the ground will not melt so I would think it sensible for schools to make a decision the evening before, but maybe they are waiting for something that parents do not know about?  The result is that the phone rang on Monday morning just after I had woken the boys up and got up myself.  Don't they understand that either parents need to ensure children are old enough or have provision to be looked after if they are working, or perhaps they are just lazy and would have enjoyed a Monday morning with a lie in?  You will be pleased to know my eldest (Duvet Boy) was able to go back to bed and sleep until midday.

This morning there was only some slush left, and this had disappeared by the afternoon which means the wellies have now gone away, but I still don't understand our obsession with the snow and all things meteorlogical.  For days everyone talked about the impending snow, when it would arrive, how long it would last, how deep it would be, how much disruption it would cause, etc, etc.  This had followed on from how mild it had been and how early the daffodils have come out, and I guarantee that within a few weeks you will read or see that this summer we will have a heatwave and we will soon be obsessing about that.

The Weekend

Sometimes on a Friday it feels good to exhale knowing I have reached the end of another week.  Perhaps a glass of wine later will keep me chilled, but I can't do this until I have checked what is happening on the Saturday.  Do I need to be out of the house early to drop someone at a friend, activity or training session? Relaxing I remember that football training has been cancelled and there is nothing until 11.30 so there is no rush - exactly as a Saturday morning should be.

Sunday, however is not quite so calm.  With three out of four children playing football at different locations and at differing times, one son doing a class and the odd party thrown in, the day is planned like a military operation.  Sometimes I say goodbye to my husband at 9.30 in the morning and don't see him again until 4.30 in the afternoon.  Whilst this may seem appealing to some, I do quite enjoy seeing him at the weekends!

I am not sure how we became so busy with our children's activities, and do not consider myself to be a pushy parent, but over the years as the boys have become older and we have had more of them (no comments please), so our days have been filled up. I have always been pleased when the boys wanted to play football as I think sport is brilliant not just physically but to build team spirit and for them to socialize.  I do sometimes regret agreeing to this when standing on the touchline layered up to the hilt and so cold I can't feel my fingers or toes, but it is still better than them sitting at home in front of a TV or computer screen.

We used to have friends over on a Sunday afternoon for tea.  The adults would chat and catch up whilst the children played, but we are home too late for this, and inevitably there is always homework that someone has forgotten, but which must be completed before Monday morning, so now we socialize on a Saturday night and it's adults only!  It is good to have a part of the weekend which is just for us.

Last Sunday after much organizing we went out to see the Strictly Tour at London's O2.  It was a great evening and it was only at the end of it I realized I couldn't remember that last time I went out with my husband somewhere that was just for us.  With so little free time we are normally seeing friends or occasionally have a function to go to.  We never say "Let's go to the cinema" because either there isn't the time or we can't get a sitter, and although  I found this quite sad, but perhaps it is the reality of having a family.

And so now will begin another weekend and perhaps with the impending snow, football will be cancelled and we can stay inside, have a duvet day and not worry about going anywhere - sounds like bliss!