School Stress

This morning my youngest got up and came into my bed to snuggle under the duvet for a few extra minutes. He was happy and chatting until he realised that this is a school day and we hear what feels like an inevitable wail of "I've got tummy ache so I can't go to school today."  As he has three older brothers I have become quite immune to the moaning of my children.  We have had a lot of reasons over the years of why they are are far too ill to go school, however we do not normally have days and days of this.  It was compounded today as one of my older boys was genuinely ill and having packed him off yesterday even I realised there was no way he could go this morning.

I do not mean to sound cruel and callous but I believe that unless certain criteria are met the children have to go to school.  If they have a temperature the evening before or when they get up, if they have a rash of any description and if they have been sick (my worst nightmare) they can stay at home.  As my youngest thankfully presented with none of the above it was school as normal.

However, I have become aware of how often my boy is complaining and whilst he is very articulate he is still only six so the doubts start that perhaps the hypochondria is in fact masking a problem that he is not telling me about, cue worry as to what this might be.

Thankfully I am able to rule out any issues with friends as he runs off to play every day, and his biggest concern in the playground is to try and keep in trousers in tact for longer than a month without getting holes in the knees from sliding tackles.  I still don't understand why they are such an essential part of football, but am told regularly how they help when they are defending and what a small price it is to pay for his glory in the game.

Having ruled out friendship issues and knowing he is eating as he has a packed lunch, the next possibility is school work. After a lot of talking it came to light that he is bored in certain subjects, and although I was pleased we had found a problem it raises as many questions as it answers.  Is he bored because the work is too easy or too difficult?  Is it that he doesn't like the topic and needs to understand he just has to get on with it?  Perhaps he is partnered with someone he doesn't like? This is when it is hard to know, especially as a child's perception is not necessarily the reality of a situation and a talk to the teacher is the best gauge of what is happening.

Luckily my son has an excellent teacher this year who really knows all the children and is receptive when there is a concern.  Carpet time is when work is explained to children or things are discussed and it seems that this is the time my son gets bored.  He is not disruptive or naughty but the teacher told me she can see by his face he isn't happy.  I know that he will talk to her as he isn't shy so hopefully this can be sorted out and tomorrow morning although there will be other stresses I am hoping tummy ache will not be one of them!

Friendship Awards

With the nominations for the Oscars, the recent Golden Globes and our NTA's it's impossible to miss the fact that awards season is once again upon us, and this made me think that perhaps there is a more important set of awards that should be given out but which are being overlooked.  Whilst I am not going to mention any specific names if you think about the nominees in my list I am sure there are one or two who come straight into your mind, so here are the categories for the 2012 Friendship Awards:

School Run Buddy - The person you can organise a rota with or at the last minute ask to pick up or drop off your child.

Emergency Contact - When you are stuck no matter what time of the day or night you know you can call this person and they will always be there to help you out

Coffee Counselling - If you ever have the need to talk something through either to get advice or just to have a rant you know this friend will be always be there with a cup of coffee ready to listen

The Organiser - The person you always turn to when you need a name for a plumber, decorator, tutor or anything else and they always know someone that can help

Lifer - Probably the friend you have had for the longest who you may not even talk to very regularly but you always know they are there

Long Distance - The friend you have met on holiday, who comes from overseas or who has moved abroad , and makes the effort to ensure the friendship stays strong

All Rounder - The friend who encompasses a bit of everything listed above and you couldn't live without

I apologise for any categories that may have been missed but I want to congratulate all the winners as you all deserve your awards and you should know how much your friendship is appreciated

Crime & Punishment

Yesterday after supper my twelve year old chose a chocolate muffin for his treat.  These cakes are very big and he was asked if he could eat the whole thing as he could have chosen to eat half.  Unsurprisingly he chose the whole cake and even more unsurprisingly after a few mouths of it said he was full up and couldn't finish it.  My reaction was that he couldn't leave 85% and would have to eat more.  Naturally this didn't go down very well and there was a lot of moaning and even an offer to pay for the cake.  However the money was not the issue.  We are fortunate to be able to go to the cupboard and have nice food to choose, but it still shouldn't be wasted and greed is not a good quality to have.  In the end he ate rather than left 80%, and I hope that next time he will think more carefully although I do have my doubts!

This incident make me think about the way we discipline our children.  As they get older the naughty step or stopping the bedtime story no longer hold the same sway, but the boys still need to understand that there are consequences to their actions.

My eldest children are 15 and one of their main loves is their X-Box.  Whilst I personally hate it, I do find it a good weapon as a ban from games and playing on-line always seems to hit home! There needs to be boundaries for everyone's sake but as I now have to physically look up to my teenagers it is harder to have that air of authority!  Admittedly there are times when they know they are completely in the wrong and we can sit and calmly discuss whatever the issue is, but this doesn't happen that often and usually I am just being unreasonable and everyone else does whatever it is I have said no to.

I do not think there is an easy answer because if there was we all would have found it by now, and I also know we all have our different methods.  These start from the time we are desperately trying to get them to sleep through the night and continue into adulthood,  but it is interesting to see what works best for everyone so if you have any good suggestions do let me know and hopefully they will work for other parents too.

Whatever Happened To My Mornings?

Today I had a flashback to a time that I didn't appreciate.  After the alarm went off  I was waking up slowly in peace and quiet and thinking about my day ahead.  After a few minutes I got up at my own pace and went to sort myself out.  All the time there was the same calmness around me helping me to face the day and once dressed I went downstairs to focus on my own breakfast and to choose whether or not I wanted the radio on.

Fast forward more years than I would probably care to admit and if I am lucky I sleep until the alarm goes off, and if not at 6am my youngest comes to tell me that he needs the toilet, has had a bad dream, has a temperature and can't go to school or anything that will ensure I am awake without long enough to be able to roll over and go back to sleep.  At 6.30 the alarm will still go off (just in case) and then the rest of my children need be woken.  Two are very good, but one of my twins needs at least three checks in his room to ensure he has risen from the depths of his duvet.  Meanwhile I grab some clothes and quickly sort myself out whilst someone tells me they have no school socks in their room.

Once they are all downstairs in the kitchen I find out what sort of mood they are in.  If I am lucky duvet twin will talk without biting my head off. He is definitely not a morning person. Today he was ok but the other twin wasn't talking to me because he can't go to a sleepover party that clashes with something else.  The youngest was also not happy as he had tummy ache, said school was boring and needed to be at home, but my middle one was actually quite cheerful.

Having juggled this minefield there is the hope that everyone will find something to eat for breakfast that they want, and whilst they slowly munch through their food I am busy with my daily early morning chores; sandwiches, washing, tidying, ensuring right items go with right child to school. Today it was socks for finger puppets and old shoes, and all the while I am obsessed with the time,  what time they get up, what time they get down to breakfast, the time they finish breakfast and the most stressful time, when we have to leave the house.  I have a sense of urgency about this which is totally lost on my boys.  There is a train to be caught and it won't wait because a tie or rugby top can't be found.  Of course we all get out eventually and get to the station on time, but still I can't relax as my middle one says "Mum, I forgot my oyster card."  Is it wrong to be letting out a banshee style howl at 7.45 in the morning?

With everyone at school, (the little ones tummy ache disappeared after a breakfast) I have the chance to relax and as I walk back into my home it is lovely to have peace for a few hours.  The hustle and bustle will come back later but for the moment it is quiet and now I make sure I appreciate it.

Warming Up

Every Saturday my husband and I sit down and discuss who will be taking which son to football.  With 3 of them playing every weekend at varying times and locations it can be a logistical nightmare, and I have to go to one or two matches every week.  Whilst I enjoy watching them and probably shout out too much at inappropriate times, the only thing I can't bear is the cold. Two hours outside in a field exposed to the elements is enough to make anyone freeze, and when you feel the cold and are a wimp like myself, it doesn't help!
Thinking about this I have put together a few tips on staying warm and these don't just apply to parents outside at sports events!

 - Wearing lots of thin layers rather than one thick jumper is better at keeping you warm as the heat is trapped between the layers
 - Wear Wool, cotton or fleecy synthetic materials
 - Although this may not go down too well, wear bed socks or thermal underwear at night
 - Another option is to use a hot water bottle to warm up the bed.
 - When going out try to wear a hat as a lot of heat is lost through your head
 - Try not to sit down for long periods of time.  Movement such as walking or even hoovering is good as it gets the circulation going and you feel warmer
 - Eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg and try to eat your five a day to keep your health
 - Whilst we are busy running around it is important to remember to have regular hot meals and drinks as these provide warmth and energy.

I hope these give you a few ideas and help a bit.  I am now going to take my own advice and put the kettle on.  Keep warm.

Great Expectations

For many of us this is the first full week where our children are back at school.  Apart from a few hiccups (one friend has already had her sons off sick and another spent yesterday afternoon in casualty when her son broke his arm), we can try to get some sort of routine and normality back into our lives.  After everything that Christmas involves we see the New Year and new term as this amazing opportunity to get a million different jobs done.
I agree that it is important to try and get on top of the basics (which I find almost impossible during the holidays), but I do wonder if I set my expectations of what can be accomplished too high.  Today I did two school runs, two loads of washing, stripped my son's bed, went to get a couple of bits from the supermarket, popped into a friend, did some cleaning at home and am now talking to you.  It is 1.45pm and I need to make sure I eat lunch, start preparing some vegetables for supper, re-make my son's bed, make a couple of calls I should have done on Monday(!), and sort myself out for book club at my house tonight in the time that is left!  I am already sure something will be missed, but in my six hours am I unrealistic in what I expect?  If I was in an office and did not finish everything would I be so bothered about it?
I am sure that the perception of many is that stay at home parents have loads of time and do very little, so therefore what needs to be done should be easily accomplished in the time they have.  Perhaps these people are right, although I personally don't agree with that view.
When my youngest started primary school I had these dreams of clearing my garden and growing vegetables, sorting out all the photos from the last ten years that are still in the cupboard and putting them into albums, maybe even a bit of decorating.  Surprise, surprise the vegetables are still being bought, the photo albums have not been opened and I have not even chosen the colour of paint that I want.
I'm not sure what the answer is, or even if there is one, but I have decided not to beat myself up over it and to be pleased with what I have achieved. I will also ensure I make those calls first thing tomorrow!

Virgin Money

At a Central London location with a beautiful building as it's back drop Virgin Money was being launched.
Now they have moved into the world of banking, and it is easy to forget where they have come from.  I remember going into their music stores, I have been fortunate to go to America and have flown Virgin Atlantic.  We all know people who use their trains or have Virgin Media in their homes.

Richard Branson was there for the launch and swung the champagne to start the proceedings.

 

It will be hard for Virgin Banks to compete with the established banks, but competition has to be good for us as consumers and maybe will make some of the other banks re-think some of the ways in which they operate.  As a group Virgin has been in our lives for forty years, and as it starts this new phase begins it will be interesting to see what the next few years brings. 

A Gripe About Over The Counter Selling

With all of my boys back at school today I felt ready to face the list of jobs that had been growing during the Christmas holidays.  This included going to various banks and building societies, and whilst I was paying in and taking out my money I couldn't believe how many things the staff were trying to sell me.
At the first bank it was a credit card, a loan and a savings account, and at the second it was another credit card, and both children and adult's saving accounts.  Even at the Post Office where all I wanted was to post a parcel and buy some stamps I was asked about switching to their phone land line and getting top ups for my mobile.  Although I pretended I had just switched phone company so I didn't need to listen to the sales patter the cashier was very diligent and still kept going.  At least if they are on the phone you can politely cut them off and put the phone down but face to face it is more difficult to escape quickly without being rude.
I appreciate that the staff are only selling what they are told, and I am sure there are quotas, but when you go into a bank with two tellers and seven people waiting it's so frustrating having to wait for longer than necessary because you can hear the staff are trying to sell contents insurance to someone who is really not interested.
As we are all too aware economically things are tough for everyone.  If a savings account is needed most people will shop around for the best deal before they open it. I wonder how many customers actually say "Hey, that's a really good idea, let me give you my money now and sort this out.  I have a lot of time and am able to sit down immediately.  I don't want to compare what you are offering with anyone else, and am more than happy to tie my money up with you and for it to be in a not to be touched account for the next five years."
Perhaps I am getting to hett up.  I should forget about the banks and think about food shopping before the weekend.  Then I will be able to buy some Easter eggs.  Oh no, I feel another moan coming on.........

Resolution or Reflection?

At this time of year I always feel bombarded with articles and comments about New Year resolutions.  Whether it is on Twitter, Facebook or from friends everyone wants to know if you have a resolution.  It would be easy to answer with the standard I would like to lose weight/get fitter/do more exercise/tone up answer that I have used for many years, but the truth is that this is just a constant in my life that I lapse in and out of all year and I never get a physique or weight that I am totally happy with.
I could resolve to ensure that my children spend less time in front of the TV and X-Box and more quality time either with me or doing more constructive things, but in my house this is viewed as a war and although both sides win battles at different times there is no overall winner or loser and so this probably doesn't count.
So can I think of a resolution or should I approach this from a different angle? Perhaps I should just view the new year as the next chapter in my life.  Each year will bring it's own highs and lows and each year is a chapter in my book.  As this is the start of chapter forty something what would I like to include in it? Are there elements I want to change in my life or new things I need to add?  To answer this requires a step back from the day to day vagaries of my life.  I know that I am very lucky to have four (and in my opinion very handsome if sometimes temperamental) sons, a husband who I may moan about occasionally, but who is supportive and loves me, a home which needs some work here and there but is generally ok, and great family and friends.  I am very fortunate and I should appreciate all that I have, but that doesn't mean that I don't need to make some changes.
I know that I want my Blog to be very successful in 2012 and to try something new in my work life.  A business I have been running for a long time has now closed and a fresh challenge is needed.  I am not sure what this is yet but it is something I need to do for me and now my boys are older it is something I can give more attention to.  I have a family function to organise later in the year that will be a big event and I want to make sure it is successful and fun for everyone who is there.  I love the theatre and concerts and if I have the opportunity (and money) hope to go to both.  There are many aspects of this chapter in 2012 where the pages are blank and it will not be completely filled until the end of December 31, but in the meantime I am not making any quick fire resolutions just some thoughts, hopes and plans that I can fulfil over the coming months.