Crime & Punishment

Yesterday after supper my twelve year old chose a chocolate muffin for his treat.  These cakes are very big and he was asked if he could eat the whole thing as he could have chosen to eat half.  Unsurprisingly he chose the whole cake and even more unsurprisingly after a few mouths of it said he was full up and couldn't finish it.  My reaction was that he couldn't leave 85% and would have to eat more.  Naturally this didn't go down very well and there was a lot of moaning and even an offer to pay for the cake.  However the money was not the issue.  We are fortunate to be able to go to the cupboard and have nice food to choose, but it still shouldn't be wasted and greed is not a good quality to have.  In the end he ate rather than left 80%, and I hope that next time he will think more carefully although I do have my doubts!

This incident make me think about the way we discipline our children.  As they get older the naughty step or stopping the bedtime story no longer hold the same sway, but the boys still need to understand that there are consequences to their actions.

My eldest children are 15 and one of their main loves is their X-Box.  Whilst I personally hate it, I do find it a good weapon as a ban from games and playing on-line always seems to hit home! There needs to be boundaries for everyone's sake but as I now have to physically look up to my teenagers it is harder to have that air of authority!  Admittedly there are times when they know they are completely in the wrong and we can sit and calmly discuss whatever the issue is, but this doesn't happen that often and usually I am just being unreasonable and everyone else does whatever it is I have said no to.

I do not think there is an easy answer because if there was we all would have found it by now, and I also know we all have our different methods.  These start from the time we are desperately trying to get them to sleep through the night and continue into adulthood,  but it is interesting to see what works best for everyone so if you have any good suggestions do let me know and hopefully they will work for other parents too.