A Funny Start to 2018

A FUNNY START TO 2018

I can definitely say that 2018 hasn't started as planned.

With 3 family bereavements in exactly one month (the first on Christmas Eve and the last on 24th January), everything feels off kilter.  All were family members of differing ages, from both my side of the family and my husband's and some were more close to us than others, but each passing has had an impact on all of us.  

It has been interesting to take a step back and almost analyse ourselves and reactions.  I have felt extreme sadness for the loss of my grandmother.  Logically I know she lived a full and long life, but emotionally the little girl didn't want her to leave.  My family is so tiny and has now shrunk a little more.  It has been tough to see my father upset.  Irrelevant of age it is always hard to lose a parent, and my father was incredibly close to her, despite arguing incessantly about most things.

However, what about when the strength of feeling isn't there?  When a different family member passed there was a feeling of guilt that there wasn't more sadness, but you cannot make yourself feel an emotion, and you cannot re-write history to make your feelings different.

Our youngest found it tough, especially as we had to organise one of the funerals so there was a lot going on at home.  However hard you try, there is an atmosphere that is picked up on, even if not everything is understood.  He felt guilty that he wanted to be supportive but didn't want to be near the sadness.  

Our older boys faced everything with real maturity.  They were just by our sides and always in the right place.  Although I will undoubtedly be moaning about something soon, I could see the men they have become and was very proud.

So now I begin a new week, almost half way through February.  Emotions still feel raw, but I am viewing the 12th Feb as my New Year's Day.  If a Leap Year is longer than a standard year, then bouncing back after difficulty is allowed to make it shorter.

Can I therefore wish everyone a  happy and healthy New Year, with only positive things to come.