Attitude Issues

When my mobile phone rang last week and I could see that it was my older boys' school calling me, my heart dropped. Until this call they had always rung if there was an accident or someone was unwell, but this time it was worse than either of these scenarios as it was a teacher wanting to discuss the attitude of one of my boys.  

The teacher had her say and was very fair and justified in her comments, and the longer the conversation went on the more I felt any worth in my parenting skills diminish.  By the time we had finished I felt physically sick, partly because she was right and largely because of the conversation with my son that I knew I would have to have later on.

Anyone with a teenager knows that they are ALWAYS right and everyone else is wrong.  This either because the other person misunderstood the situation, didn't hear what they said, didn't tell the teenager the correct information, or is just plain stupid!  Even if the sky is blue they will feel completely justified in explaining why it is green and get frustrated with you when you disagree.

When my son arrived home later that afternoon I tried to be relaxed as I knew an argument would not resolve this.  When we started talking there were, as expected reasons to counteract the teacher's points.  He had questioned a decision as he thought it was a waste of time and did not see he was wrong to do so.  I countered with the argument that perhaps it is better to be quiet and not always air your views.  (Having been married a very long time, this is something I have learned to do pretty well).  When I asked him about his poor mock results he told me he had done worse in a mock in a different subject but had good results in the proper exam.  It felt as though we were going round in circles.

I do not want my child to have a bad reputation with the teachers.  He isn't naughty, he is basically lazy.  He has the potential to do really well and the phone call was due to the frustration of the staff at not being able to make him understand why if  he is capable of getting an 'A' he should not be complacent and be satisfied with a 'B'.  

Perhaps this is something he needs to understand for himself.  I cannot do the work for him or sit the exams on his behalf.  I have my fingers tightly crossed but there is only so much I can do.  At some point he has to take responsibility and I hope that when he gets his results he will prove our worries unfounded and that the last laugh is on him and he can remind me again how he is always right!